I post. Then disappear for a month or two.
Appear again, stating that I have not actually fallen off the face of the earth. Then disappear again.
So what has happened? Life. Kids. More life. More kid stuff. Rinse and repeat. When they say that empty nesters go through an emotional upheaval they are not kidding. Granted, with 1 step-daughter still at home, I am not technically a true empty nester. I am a strong woman and have the capacity to adapt and effectively process and deal with most every change that comes my way. On the topic at hand, I may have met my match. MAY have. Over the last several months two of my sons have embarked on their military careers. I am so very proud of all 3 sons--they are amazing. Yeah, I know, every mother says that, but trust me, these are some seriously special guys.
Military, huh? The boys and I have had many long talks and they understand/accept my point of view, although we differ on several points. There are multiple concerns that loom largely on my mind and heart. This is the path they have chosen and I am incredibly proud of the men they are becoming. Without question, I will support their right to make decisions for their lives and will never fail to be their cheerleader. Being the "CIA Mom" that I am, there has not been a stone left unturned, a pamphlet unread, a website un-visited, a blog unread, and on and on...you get the picture. I research in order to have the most information I can to help them (and me) on this path.
All of this has not been without its struggles. My nature is not to be a "moto Mom". You won't see me in the t-shirts, sweatshirts, or ball caps. Not saying there is not a sticker, or 4, on my car (soon to be replaced by my 2-blue star flag), or that my Facebook profile and cover photos have not proclaimed my pride. Nor will you hear me refer to them as "my Sailor/Corpsman" or "my Marine". They are my sons first and foremost. During their respective Boot Camps, I adamantly refused to refer to them as my Recruit. I did not recruit the boy, the military branch did, so a more accurate description would be their recruit. It is all a bit ridiculous to use the "x"son, moniker. No one ever says, oh, here comes my Electrical Engineer daughter or my History Teacher son. Gimme a break! My son...the pride in my voice for all three is all the explanation necessary.
Moving forward with them as they each begin new chapters of their lives requires a new normal to be formed for all of us as a family. Distance impacts our calendars, but certainly not the closeness. New ways of keeping in touch and when time together works out, it is all the more treasured.
Actually sitting down and writing this post (extremely heavily edited) has been difficult. So much I would like to say...not to my sons as they know my heart, but to the world in general, that cannot be said. Day after day, a post has formed in my head but did not come through my fingertips, instead being offered up as a sort of cathartic prayer. However, on the day of the celebration of an event so powerful in its meaning, I have to hope and pray that true understanding of what it means will come to be known by all.
However, indulge me for a moment...have you seen my sons???
They kinda stole my heart at the start!